Pegging play usually involves a toy that’s larger than a finger or butt plug, so you’ll want to work up in size and adjust to the sensation of being penetrated and avoid pain or discomfort.
What Are Dildos?
Dildos are sex toys that you can put into the mouth, anus, or vagina. While they are sometimes meant to feel like a penis, they don’t have to look like one. They come in all different materials, shapes, and sizes. Some dildos are curved in order to stimulate the prostate or g-spot.
There are many different kinds of dildos. You can find ones that are:
- Made to look like a penis with testicles
- Made to be strapped on with a harness
- Meant for two partners to use at once, called double-sided or double-penetration dildos
- Vibrating dildos
- Made with a suction base to adhere to a surface
- Glass or metal dildos
Dildos have been around for thousands of years. In the Hohle Fels cave in Germany, archeologists unearthed a dildo about 28,000 years old.
Why People Like Them
Dildos are popular with people of all genders and sexualities.
Sometimes they can have a medical purpose. Some sexual medicine experts recommend them as part of therapy for vaginismus, or pelvic floor muscle spasms.
Dildos can provide internal stimulation to the g-spot, prostate, or other parts of the vagina or anus. They can also play a psychological role in arousal and sex play.
What’s the Difference Between Dildos and Vibrators?
Dildos and vibrators are both sex toys, and there’s a fair amount of overlap between their functions. The biggest difference is that not all dildos can vibrate, though some do.
Some vibrators are designed to be used externally during solo or partner play, and others are made to be inserted in the vagina or anus.
Myths about Dildos
Some people worry when their partner wants to use a dildo. They fear that it means their partner is sexually dissatisfied or that the dildo will replace them sexually.
However, studies on the use of sex toys have found that they can aid sexual relationships between committed couples. In relationships marked by open communication, sex toys may enhance sexual experiences and intimacy.
How to Try Dildos Safely
If you’re choosing and using your first dildo, there are a few things to keep in mind so you can have a safe and comfortable experience:
- Unless you know you prefer a wide girth, start small and work your way up.
- Choose a dildo made with non-porous materials such as body-safe silicone, glass, or metal.
- Use plenty of lubricant, but avoid using silicone lubricant with silicone toys.
- Put a condom on the dildo if you’re using it with multiple partners or with porous material.
- Wash it after each use.
If you feel any discomfort while using a dildo, stop. You may need more lubricant or a smaller size.
Care and Cleaning
Wash your dildo with a mild soap and warm water. If you’re using a silicone toy, you can clean it by putting it in boiling water for several seconds.
Show Sources
Archives of Sexual Behavior: “Sex Toy Use By Gay and Bisexual Men in the United States.”
Cosmopolitan: “How to Get the Absolute Most Out of Your Dildo.”
Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy: ““Women’s vibrator use in sexual partnerships: results from a nationally representative survey in the United States.”
The Journal of Sex Research: “What Keeps Passion Alive? Sexual Satisfaction Is Associated With Sexual Communication, Mood Setting, Sexual Variety, Oral Sex, Orgasm, and Sex Frequency in a National U.S. Study.”
Planned Parenthood: “Sex Toys.”
Sexuality & Culture: Adventures with the “Plastic Man”: Sex Toys, Compulsory Heterosexuality, and the Politics of Women’s Sexual Pleasure.”
Sexuality & Culture: “Using Sex Toys and the Assimilation of Tools into Bodies: Can Sex Toys Incorporate Tools into Human Sexuality.”
Sociology of Health & Illness: “Treating women’s sexual difficulties: the body work of sexual therapy.”
Women’s Health: “The 30 Best Dildos You Can Buy Online, Plus How to Find Your Perfect Match.”
dildo
“Dildo.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/dildo. Accessed 10 Feb. 2023.
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Medical Definition
plural dildos also dildoes
: an object resembling a penis used for sexual stimulation
https://merriam.atlassian.net/browse/MWSITE-9211 –>
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Strap-on Sex 101: How to Pick Out the Right Harness and Dildo
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A strap-on is like lube in the sense that it can make anyone’s sex life better, regardless of their gender or sexuality.
Suitable for vaginal sex, anal sex, blow jobs, manual sex, and masturbation, strap-ons may be worn or received by both people with penises and people with vaginas, as well as everyone in between.
Even if strap-ons sound completely out of your domain, they’re still worth learning more about — they can really add a lot of fun and flexibility to your sex life.
“People often associate harness play with particular gender roles, sexualities, and identities, but these associations end up being harmful rather than helpful. Specific sexual acts do not define your identity if you don’t want them to,” says Amy Boyajian, co-founder and CEO of Wild Flower, an online sex toy boutique that recently released the first-ever gender-free vibrator, Enby.
Ready to learn more about strap-ons and how all bodies can enjoy harness play? Keep reading.
Now sure how someone with a penis can enjoy harness play? Here’s a little more detail on how wearing or using a strap-on on during sex can be pleasurable even for folks who already have their own phallus.
“Wearing a strap-on harnesses can allow folks with penises who have erectile dysfunction or who have had their prostates removed to have sex with and please their partner in the way they are used to,” explains sex and relationships educator Sarah Sloane, who’s been teaching strap-on classes at Good Vibrations and Pleasure Chest since 2001.
It’s also a way for folks to experiment with double penetration, she says. The possibilities — and pleasure — are endless!
If a person with a penis has a partner with a vulva, the harness can be worn by their partner to achieve anal penetration.
Sometimes called pegging, this form of anal penetration can be incredibly physically pleasurable for people with penises, says Boyajian. “The prostate is located just a few inches inside the anus, toward the belly. For some, stimulating the prostate can produce pleasurable sensations and better orgasms.”
Plus, pegging may provide an opportunity to explore power and pleasure dynamics that may not already be a part of your play.
An important note on pegging If anal
play is new to your sexual wheelhouse, don’t start with pegging. “You want to
explore anal play with tongues, fingers, smaller toys like butt plugs, and
during masturbation before you go right to pegging,” says clinical sexologist Megan Stubbs, Ed.D. This helps prep the sphincter, or the ring of
muscle at the end of the rectum that keeps the anus constricted — unless stuff
needs to pass through it.
Pegging play usually involves a toy that’s larger than a finger or butt plug, so you’ll want to work up in size and adjust to the sensation of being penetrated and avoid pain or discomfort.
Harness play can also be incredibly enjoyable for vulva owners during sex. Depending on the shape of your body and where you position the harness for best thrusting, wearing a harness may lead to a clitoral or vaginal orgasm — or even a blended one.
For many folks, a huge part of the enjoyment from wearing a harness is watching your partner enjoying the sensation of being penetrated, Stubbs says. “There’s a lot of intimacy in being able to penetrate partner and be close to them. You can have your body right against theirs and use your hands and mouths to kiss and stroke.”
There’s also an element of gender play that can be exciting for some. “If you’re queer, strap-on sex lets you subvert heterosexual sex. You’re taking something that’s thought of as straight, and queering the heck out of it,” says Sloane.
Further, “some folks who are masculine off-center, genderqueer, or who otherwise identify with having a cock, may find that having or wearing a [strap-on] feels really right for their gender identity and incredibly validating.” Simulated oral sex play with a strap-on can also be hot for this reason.
On the receiving end, folks with vulvas can enjoy vaginal or anal penetration with a strap-on.
“Vaginal penetration can be pleasurable for some, thanks to the G-spot, the A-spot, the feeling of fullness, and the power dynamics it may invoke,” says Sloane.
The A-spot, or anterior fornix erogenous zone, is a sensitive area of tissue at the end of the vaginal canal. “When stimulated, this can heighten arousal, activate vaginal lubrication, and spark an orgasm,” explains Boyajian.
Anal play can also be enjoyable for people with vaginas. “The anus has thousands of sensitive nerve endings concentrated around the opening and the outer part of the rectum,” mentions Boyajian. “Stimulating this part of the body, paired with the excitement of doing something ‘taboo’ can allow those with vaginas to orgasm fully.”
Ready to buy a strap-on? Consider the below your comprehensive strap-on buying guide.
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