If you want to fuck me, fuck all of me. The hottest shags are the ones that grab my belly like its a third tit, kiss the flesh on the way down to the kitty and aren’t pretending my body is less than it is. You’ll be surprised how hot holding on to soft flesh feels when you get over yourself, get a grip and get into the actual body of the fat girl you’re shagging.
How to Have Sex With a Fat Girl
The first few times I fucked as a fat girl, I exclusively wore my boyfriend’s Superman hoodie to hide my body. I was 16, a size 14 and it was 2009 – long before body positivity hit the mainstream or my Tumblr feed. Now, as a 26-year-old woman wearing a size 20, the shagging game has changed year on year as my body has gotten bigger and the dating pool has gotten smaller. With plus size partners we can press our bellies together, grab each others bodies and enjoy the thickness of our flesh in privacy (or with other partners, if they’re game for group sex). But fucking a fat girl when you don’t know her, what she likes, or what she dislikes, is apparently a minefield for most people with slimmer frames.
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Before fucking someone new, I feel the need to address I’m fat before we meet. My Bumble bio reads “honey with a tummy”, my photo selection is multiple full body shots and still I always end up asking: “How long have you fancied fat girls?”
The answers vary from “never” to “it’s a preference” to “I never noticed”. The latter is the most insulting. I’m the size of the elephant in the room and you want to pretend that I don’t weigh double whatever you do? In reality, sometimes I’ll shag a fat fetishist to feel like a gorgeous goddess and the rest of the time I’m just making sure they’re not a fatphobe before I let them poke a finger in.
In short: it’s a minefield. If only someone could write a handy guide… Oh go on then, here we go.
TOUCH THE FUPA
It’s a universal truth known by fat girls that the FUPA is the most intimidating part of our body. I know this because my FUPA been touched so little that I’m surprised she hasn’t shrivelled up and fallen off. I think this is what some guys were hoping would happen too. Avoiding belly touching makes it all the more obvious that the belly is there. If you eat a cupcake and leave the frosting on the plate, it doesn’t stop the icing from existing (or tasting like a treat).
If you want to fuck me, fuck all of me. The hottest shags are the ones that grab my belly like its a third tit, kiss the flesh on the way down to the kitty and aren’t pretending my body is less than it is. You’ll be surprised how hot holding on to soft flesh feels when you get over yourself, get a grip and get into the actual body of the fat girl you’re shagging.
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STOP MENTIONING SKINNY GIRL
I can see it on your lips. It’s dying to jump off. You’re deciding between “I’ve always wanted to fuck a fat girl” or “I prefer your curves to thin girls”. If you’ve ever wondered the quickest way to kill a vibe, this is it. You’re not special for wanting to fuck a fat girl. There’s pages upon pages of Pornhub videos of men fantasising about it, and it doesn’t make a girl feel special to be told the reason you’re getting shagged is your body size.
If you’re fucking a person specifically to fulfill a fetish, the least you owe that person is to tell them about the fetish. You’ll be surprised how many fat women will be down for being a BBW, but forcing a kink on a woman who just wants to be shagged is fucked up. Might I introduce you to Feabie, where my best fat friend told me I could find a fat boyfriend and all I got was harassed for pics of me eating twelve Pot Noodles. It ain’t for me, but there’s plenty of feeders, feedees and fat fetishists to choose from.
USE YOUR IMAGINATION
In the BBC Documentary Too Fat For Love, blogger Emma Tamsin-Hill visits a London sex emporium where her and fellow fat friends get tips from sex coach Athena Mae – who shows the ladies how to support their weight going on top, different positions for face fucking and how to use a sex wedge pillow. Knowing all this info as a fat girl is definitely helpful, but as a single woman, if a guy whips out a sex wedge as soon as I arrive at the booty call, I have to say I will be swiftly exiting the booty call.
Sex Positions for Overweight People
Certain sex positions may be more comfortable for people who are carrying excess weight. The following positions are only suggestions. The important thing is to do what makes you feel good in bed.
How Does It Work?
Missionary
The receiving partner lays on their back. The giving partner either lays on top or kneels in front and penetrates them. A few pillows under the receiver’s hips can provide extra support. Some people find the missionary position offers a sense of connection, because you’re looking at your partner’s face.
Doggy style
For this position, the receiving partner gets on their hands and knees. The giving partner kneels or stands behind them and enters their vagina or anus. If you have trouble supporting yourself on your hands and knees, you can stack pillows below you or use a piece of sex furniture called a wedge to hold yourself up.
Cowgirl
This position gets its name because the person getting penetrated “rides” on top of their partner. To do it, the giving partner lays down, and the receiving partner sits on top. There are many options to make this position more comfortable.
If you’re on top, you can lean forward to let your partner support some of your weight. If you’re on bottom, you can place some pillows under your hips for extra support. It also helps reveal the genitals more.
Standing
In this position, known as butterfly, the receiving partner lays back on a surface like a table or bed. The giving partner stands and penetrates. This position does require finding a piece of furniture that is at the right height.
Spooning
Spooning is a cuddling position in which both partners lay on their sides, facing the same direction. Play around with the angle to find what works for you.
Myths About Sex Positions for Overweight People
Myth: Overweight people will hurt their partners
Everyone has to experiment when having sex with a new partner, no matter their body type. You have to find out what works for you. If something doesn’t feel good, tell your partner. They should stop and listen to your feedback.
Myth: Overweight people have too many physical limitations
Everyone has their own limits. Body size does not equal flexibility when it comes to certain sexual positions. Other people have injuries that prevent them from enjoying certain sex acts or positions. Physical limitations in the bedroom aren’t limited to overweight people. Overweight people can enjoy sex just as much as anyone else.
Myth: It’s hard to find an overweight person’s genitals
Some positions may help people who are overweight feel more comfortable while having sex. However, all couples — not just overweight people — must experiment with what positions give the greatest access to the genitals and the most pleasure.
How to Try Sex Positions Safely
If you’re overweight, you may feel self-conscious about your body size during sex. But your weight shouldn’t stop you from having a fulfilling sex life. The most important point to remember is that you should always have open communication with your partner to make sure both of you are comfortable with whatever you try.
Talking to your partner about trying new positions
Don’t surprise your partner with a talk about sex. Plan to have a discussion. It can also help to approach the topic indirectly. Start out talking more generally about sex or about your experiences, instead of focusing on your sex life with your partner.
It may help to plan out what you want to say beforehand. Write down a few thoughts about why you want to try these positions, and how they will improve your sex life.
When you request sex positions, start with suggestions, rather than complaints. Make sure to include a few things that you like about your sex life already, and mention that you’re making these suggestions to enhance pleasure and connection.
Show Sources
Flo: “5 Best Sex Positions for Overweight People.”
Laura Morse: “TOP 5 SEX POSITIONS WHEN YOU ARE OVERWEIGHT.”
Relate: “I don’t know how to talk to my partner about sex.”
Sexual Health Resource: “Sex Poisitions – Photos, Tips & New Ideas.”
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