Always check the expiration date and make sure there aren’t holes in the packaging before opening your condom — you should be able to feel a little air bubble when you squeeze the wrapper. If a condom is torn, dry, stiff, or sticky, throw it away.
How to put a condom on
If you want your condom to work, you’ve got to use it correctly. Luckily, it’s really easy. Here’s what you need to know.
How do I use a condom?
Roll the condom on when your penis is erect (hard), but BEFORE it touches your partner’s mouth or genital area ( vulva , vagina , anus , buttocks, and upper thighs) — and wear it the whole time you’re having sex. This helps protect you from STDs that are transmitted through skin-to-skin touching. It also prevents contact with pre-ejaculate (pre-cum), which can have STD germs and may rarely contain sperm that can cause pregnancy.
1. Condoms last a long time, but you should always check the expiration date printed on the wrapper or box. Open condoms carefully so you don’t damage them — don’t use your teeth or scissors.
2. Make sure the condom’s ready to roll on the right way: the rim should be on the outside so it looks like a little hat, and it will unroll easily. You can unroll it a little bit before putting it on to make sure it’s right-side out. If you accidentally put a condom on inside out, do NOT flip it around and reuse it — get a new one.
3. Pinch the tip of the condom and place it on the head of your penis. Leave a little bit of space at the top to collect semen (cum). If you’re uncircumcised, it might be more comfortable to pull your foreskin back before placing the condom on the tip of your penis and rolling it down.
4. Unroll the condom down the shaft of your penis all the way to the base.
You can put a few drops of water-based or silicone lubricant inside the tip of the condom before you roll it on. You can also add more lube to the outside of the condom after it’s on your penis. (Water-based or silicone lube can make sex feel even better, and it helps stop condoms from breaking.)
5. Have sex!
6. After you ejaculate (cum), hold onto the rim of the condom and pull your penis out of your partner’s body.
Do this BEFORE your penis goes soft, so the condom doesn’t get too loose and let semen out.
7. Carefully take off the condom away from your partner so you don’t accidentally spill semen (cum) on them. Throw the condom away in the garbage — don’t flush it down the toilet (it can clog pipes).
You can’t reuse condoms. Roll on a new condom every time you have vaginal, oral, or anal sex. You should also use a new condom if you switch from one kind of sex to another (like anal to vaginal).
Don’t worry if you lose your erection (your penis gets soft) while wearing a condom — this is super common. If this happens you should change condoms. Just take the condom off, and once your penis is hard again, roll on a new one.
What are some tips for using condoms?
Taking good care of your condoms and using them correctly every single time you have sex is key.
Store your condoms in a cool, dry place away from any sharp objects and direct sunlight. Don’t keep them in your pocket, car, or bathroom for long periods of time (over 1 month), because excessive heat and moisture can damage condoms over time.
Always check the expiration date and make sure there aren’t holes in the packaging before opening your condom — you should be able to feel a little air bubble when you squeeze the wrapper. If a condom is torn, dry, stiff, or sticky, throw it away.
Since you have to use a new condom every time you have sex or get a new erection, it’s a good idea to keep a supply around. Have condoms nearby before things start heating up, so they’re easy to grab without interrupting the action.
Most condoms come pre-lubricated, but adding extra water-based or silicone lube can make condoms feel great and help keep them from breaking. Put a few drops on the head of your penis or inside the tip of your condom before you roll it on, and/or spread lube on the outside of the condom once you’re wearing it.
Don’t use anything that has oil in it with latex condoms, like petroleum jelly (Vaseline), lotion, baby oil, butter, or cooking oils. Oil damages latex condoms and may cause them to break.
It’s easy to make condoms fun and sexy — all it takes is a little creativity and a positive attitude! For many people, condoms are a natural part of foreplay. Having your partner roll on the condom, applying lube, and stimulating each other and saying sexy stuff while putting condoms on keeps things hot AND safe. Plus, knowing you’re protecting each other from pregnancy and/or STDs lets everyone relax and focus on feelin’ good.
Practice makes perfect, so it’s a good idea to get used to putting on condoms before you actually use one for sex. You can practice putting a condom on your own penis, or a banana, cucumber, or slim bottle — anything penis-shaped will do! Becoming a condom pro BEFORE you have sex makes it much easier to use them correctly when it really matters.
Lastly, it’s a good idea to use another form of birth control, like the pill, ring, shot, implant, or IUD, along with condoms. It can help prevent pregnancy in case you make a mistake or the condom breaks, giving you extra protection. If you have a condom mishap and you’re not on another birth control method, emergency contraception (the morning-after pill) can help prevent pregnancy up to 5 days after unprotected sex.
More questions from patients:
It’s important to use condoms correctly. If you don’t use a condom the right way — like putting it on inside out — it won’t work as well.
When you put a condom on inside out, it will be a lot harder to roll down. It might not cover your penis all the way, and it could slip off during sex. Most condoms have a reservoir tip — a little extra pocket at the top that helps collect semen (cum) during ejaculation . When a condom is inside out, this reservoir tip might not work as well and the condom can break easier.
If you accidentally put a condom on inside out, it might be tempting to flip it around and roll it back on the right way. But that’s not a good idea because once the condom goes on your penis it can pick up fluids (like pre-cum ) that can spread STDs or cause pregnancy. So the best thing to do is throw the condom away and get a new one.
In order to make sure you use a condom the right way, look at it carefully before you put it on. The roll of the rim should be on the outside, with the reservoir tip poking up in the middle. You can also unroll the condom a little before you put it on so you can figure out which way is correct.
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How to Put On a Condom the Right Way
Plus, other lesser-known condom tips you probably didn’t learn in sex-ed.
With a Master’s Degree in clinical psychology, Rachel Wright has worked with thousands of humans worldwide, helping them scream less and screw more. She has brought her message to stages across the globe, was SHAPE Magazine’s Sex + Relationships Coach, and created the virtual workshop series What You Wish You Learned in School: Sex Ed and is currently one of mindbodygreen’s article review experts. She also has a residency at Green Room 42 in NYC called “One Night Stand: A Night for Sexier & Healthier Broadway.” Rachel has been featured widely in the media, including on Cheddar TV, as a regular contributor to SHAPE, INSIDER, mbg, InStyle, The Dipp, Well & Good — plus Cosmopolitan Magazine, PIX 11 (NYC), Women’s Health, NBC News Radio, Huffington Post, CTV (Canada), and hundreds of other outlets.
Published on August 23, 2021 @ 01:22PM
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Condoms are a perfect example of the flaws in our sex education system. Sure, they get brought up a lot — but what’s not often talked about is how and when to use them (properly, that is).
So, welcome to Condoms 101— the one-stop spot to learn about all things condoms! Plus, some recommendations of my favorite condoms to date.
How to Properly Use a Condom
You might be thinking, “Okay, I already know how to use a condom — thank you very much.” But the truth is. You’d be surprised how many people misuse condoms and don’t use them in enough situations (I’m serious).
First things first— Sizing.
When it comes to sizing, you need to find a fit that feels comfortably snug. There’s no need to get magnums if they don’t fit — that defeats the whole purpose of the condom! You also shouldn’t squeeze yourself into a “regular size” if it’s too tight. (And while we’re at it, I’ll let you in on a little secret— penis size doesn’t matter. It’s how you use your penis — and your hands and your mouth and your body and other aids — that matters most!)
Now, here’s a little step-by-step of how to properly open and put on a condom:
- Carefully open the package. I say carefully just to make sure the condom doesn’t accidentally get ripped. Definitely never cut open a condom wrapper with scissors— that’s a no, always.
- The rim of the condom should be on the outside, not the inside.
- Place the condom on the head of the penis!
- Now, roll the condom down and voilà!
To make it feel even more pleasurable, you can squeeze a bit of lube into the condom before putting it on the penis— this makes the condom more lubricated so it feels even more pleasurable for the penis owner. (Just make sure that the lube or serum is condom-compatible!)
Why Use Condoms?
Condoms get a lot of hate, but they are a wonderful birth control option, even if you’re in a monogamous relationship. Oral contraceptive birth control works for some, but not all. We might never know someone’s reason for wanting to use condoms (maybe the vulva owner has tough hormonal periods and birth control adds difficulties to their cycle) but respecting their wishes to use condoms always trumps the wish to not.
But there are also many other reasons to use condoms that don’t just pertain to protection against pregnancy. Condoms also protect against STI’s and are fabulous if you are partaking in penetrative hook-up sex. Seriously, think about it — what’s hotter than having steamy sex that you know is the safest it can be?
There’s no shame around STIs — they are, in fact, far more common than our culture can make them seem. More than half of sexually active adults contract an STI at some point in their lifetime! So, rest assured — there’s no shame, but at the same time, we can do our absolute best to protect each other by wrapping it before tapping it.
PS: If you are having casual sex— get tested regularly and be honest with your partners! It’s the best thing we can do for each other. It might seem more intimate and exciting to not use a condom, but infections and unwanted pregnancies don’t exactly increase intimacy and aren’t worth the risk — especially if you’re sleeping with multiple people.
When to Wear or Use a Condom
Some folks think of condoms only as protection against the thing that they are personally trying to avoid. For example, STI transmission rates have reportedly been going up in retirement homes in recent years due to an attitude of “I can’t get pregnant, so who cares!”
In other words, there’s likely a situation where you aren’t using a condom but should be. Here, a non-conclusive list of scenarios in which a condom could be super useful.
- Penis-in-Vagina Penetrative Sex
- Protects against STI transmission and pregnancy
- Potects against STI transmission
- Protects against STI transmission and other genital and anal infections that can come from sharing fluids
- I know, ew, but if you’re unsure of your partner’s STI status or are consciously trying to protect against STI transmission, this is so important. This is the one time I actually recommend flavored condoms, I specfically recommend Royal’s strawberry flavored condoms.
- If you don’t have a dental dam available and are in a similar situation to the one described above, you can cut a condom to become a dental dam!
The Best Condom Brands to Try
Condoms are kind of like snowflakes — they are all different. If you’ve bought generic drugstore condoms in the past, it’s probably likely that you (and your partners) might not have liked them very much.
But lucky for us, the sex tech world is growing so much and creating quality products that feel fabulous! Including condoms — which can be tricky to shop for.
Here are some of my go-to condom faves:
- Royal: If you have sensitive skin or are looking for a vegan condom, Royal is your go-to! They also offer different sizes, flavors, and lubed condom options. They are odor-free and organic and are my go-to latex condoms. ($13; amazon.com)
- Skyn: My go-to non-latex condoms, Skyn has one of the OG thin condom feels. It’s made from a non-latex material that helps create that skin-to-skin feel. ($6; amazon.com)
- Cake: Not only is Cake’s branding absolutely adorable, but they offer three different size options and three different texture options. They are affordable and they offer a subscription service. ($8)
- Maude: Not only does Maude have an aesthetically pleasing product design, but their condoms are also made of 100% latex, are super thin, and scent-free. Plus, they come in two sizes and come in an easy-to-open wrapper. ($12; getmaude.com)
Rachel Wright, LMFT, is a licensed psychotherapist, sex educator, and relationship expert based in New York City.
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